Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Ups and Downs

The adoption process is such a crazy journey.  It's full of things that don't make sense, take entirely too long, and really test one's faith!  But it's also full of things that show God's awesome power, His totally sufficient provision, and His perfect timing.  Since the first things are at odds with the latter things, you can understand why it's such an up and down experience.  The last few weeks have been just that.  Since I haven't updated in a while, let me catch you up.  We finally got out I800 approval a few weeks ago, but since it was the end of October, I still was resigned to the fact that we would not be traveling this year.  And as my husband is facing possible back surgery in the near future, that was probably for the best.  Then I got an email on November 1st saying that James's passport would be ready the following week, on the 8th.  This gave us a very small chance of still being able to travel next month, as we now only need to wait on his medical exam and interview appointments for the visa.  So that was when I started emailing the US embassy in Manila, trying to get dates for these.  The medical exam is done first, and then the interview is scheduled.  Since James is so far from Manila, we are really hoping these can be done together, so they don't have to make the trip twice.  After both of those happen, we wait for the visa to be issued, typically a two week wait.  So, as you can see, this is a very small window of opportunity.  But I had given up all hope of even possibly getting him this year, so I was willing to take a small window!  And I've been praying constantly that God will make a way, like only He can.  Not only for us, but for two other families that I've "met" that are in this last phase too.
Fast forward to today.  I was waiting on a second reply from the embassy that I greatly hoped would tell me his appoinments had been scheduled and would happen very soon.  Instead, I got an email from our agency, saying that yes, the ICAB has the passport, but not to expect appointments to be scheduled soon enough to travel this year.  Apparently there are a great number of families at this point in the process, and every child being adopted must have a medical evaluation, and there is only one clinic that handles all the cases.  (Ok, really, US government??  I would understand if this was the Filipino government, but this exam is required by USCIS for entry into the country.  You would think that the United States could get a few more doctors in there to move things along!!)  And for whatever reason, things are moving slowly, and families who should have traveled last month are still waiting for their exams.  This is not good news.  But, as I said, I knew it was a long shot, so I'm not surprised.  And I didn't feel much at that moment.  Then I went to the grocery store, and while wandering the aisles trying not forget something I needed, I was texting my dear friend Kathy about our disappointing news.  She told me that she wasn't going to give up, and that until 2012 ends, she would keep praying that he could come home this year.  Right then I knew I couldn't give up either!  So while wandering I started praying, asking begging God to do what only He can do.  And then I felt guilty, thinking about the families that are ahead of us in line for the exam, and that it wouldn't be fair for us to get our child while they waited.  But then I remembered that God can do anything!! He can bring home ALL of those children this year!!  By now I'm almost to the checkout, and I'm practically in tears.  I know God can do it.  Nothing is too hard for Him.  It's completely impossible apart from him, but not even remotely difficult for Him.  I also know that He might not.  But His love for orphans is much bigger than mine, and His plan much more perfect than mine, (although I think my plan is pretty stinkin' good!) and I will trust Him no matter what He decides to do.  But, in the meantime, I'm going to keep asking!!  And listening to this song play over and over in my head, and on my spotify :) All Things Possible

1 comment:

  1. He will come, Merissa, at just the RIGHT time. It won't be YOUR time--it may be later or SOONER--but you will KNOW, KNOW, KNOW, KNOW, K-N-O-W that it is THE RIGHT TIME and that he is THE RIGHT CHILD. That's how every adoption of the many, many, many adoptions that I have seen has worked. You're right, God's love is bigger than ours, and so is His reassurance now so that in the hard times later you will be absolutely certain that you are in His will. Praying that this comes quickly for you.

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