What Life Will Be Like
I am an imaginer. As in, I'm always imagining things happening in my mind, like a daydream, but about things that could actually happen. Usually this is a bad thing. I tend to imagine worst-case-scenario things, like a family member dying, like coming home to find my house has burned down, things like that. (And my mother wonders why I always have nightmares!) But now I have a different movie playing in my mind. Now I imagine what it's going to be like having a third child...when we play baseball in the backyard, when I'm with Liana in the grocery store or the library, when the kids are goofing off at dinner, even after the 10th warning to sit and eat! I imagine my little guy running around the yard, asking for candy in the store, picking his own books in the library, and being right in the middle of the goofing. I imagine him in the backseat of the car, and how I won't be able to talk with him while I drive like I do my other two. I imagine him watching tv and not being able to read the captions. I imagine him playing Wii with his brother and sister and getting angry when Aedan wins...again. But most of all, I imagine him here, with a family, loved, safe, and happy. And I long for the day when this will no longer be only in my imagination.